Response to Lets Talk About Sex

My good friend Thaddeus (http://pimusique.blogspot.com) wrote about sex and I had a long reply. Rather than post my comment on his blog, I put it here.

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Sex is such a complicated thing because we are taught that sex is BAD. If it feels good, if it gives pleasure, it must be bad. Why? We are trained to understand that if a thing or act FEELS good or produces, if done in excess, leads to unhappy results. Sex is bundled in there with alcohol, drugs, money and driving fast.

Everything we experience in our body, in our life, begins and ends in the brain. Think about it. At a fundamental level, from reading this blog, to walking, love, sex and death, our life experience is nothing more than the result of atoms interacting in our brains.

I once read that our understanding of right and wrong - of everything - comes from our parents. And, if you don't have parents, it comes from all those around you. My father wasn't around and my mother worked nights, so I sought knowledge in virtually everything I know on my own. And that includes sex. When I had my first erection, I knew what it was. I understood masturbation throughly. When I had my first orgasm, I knew that that was. And when the clear fluid started to turn white, I knew what that was too. So, when I had sex for the first time, the guy I was with was surprised I was a virgin, because I was so good in bed. (I saw hundreds of my stepfather's Swedish Erotica magazine flyers.)

When HIV and AIDS were first publicly identified, I knew more about it then than many people know about it today. (I even remember that episode of the Bionic Woman where the rich guy was in a plastic bubble because his immune system was breaking down.)

Those who were raised in the church know all about Sodom and Gomorrah. It is written that the cities were destroyed because of their wickedness, but the church only focuses on the sex. Sex is wicked. When people think of Sodom and Gomorrah, they ONLY think of sex, specifically homosexuality. They forget about all of the other evils occurring in the city. The Bible says the cities were destroyed for their wickedness, but the church emphasizes that those cities were destroyed because of sex.

We are taught that the ONLY way sex is good is within the boundaries of a single, lifelong, legally recognized commitment between a man and a woman. Anything else is wicked. And when you contrast the life of a happy family - working husband, stay-at-home wife, two well-behaved children, modest 4 bedroom house, a golden retriever and a slightly used hybrid car - against anything else, the result is what we have today - confusion.

And now, HIV just makes things worst. The fluids that bring forth life - blood, vaginal fluid and semen - are now bringers of death. We feel bad about sex.

So today, unless you fit into that married family scenario, if you have ANY sexual thought or reaction, you feel bad about it.

Sex is how ALL 6 billion of us got here. And sex is on all of our minds. And, because the Bible says we were all born into sin, we feel bad not only about sex, but ourselves.