Saturday, June 20, 2009

Countries That Sell Unlocked iPhones

This whole situation with the iPhone pisses me off. I would love to launch a class action lawsuit against the entire cell phone industry with the goal of getting EVERY cell phone sold in this country unlocked so they can be used on the network of a consumers choice, provided that network supports the technology of the phone. In other words, GSM phones work on ALL GSM networks, and CDMA phones work on ALL CDMA networks without restriction.

In the meantime, I will fight back the best way I know how and maintain a list of countries that sell unlocked iPhones. Eventually this list will be maintained on a website. Freedom of Speech - gotta love it.

These countries sell unlocked mobile telephones because their laws REQUIRE it, no matter who manufactures the device.

With a phone purchased from these countries, you can place ANY SIM card in the device and it will work on the network of your choice with NO jailbreaking or intrusive unlocking techniques required. In the case of the iPhone, it will end the worrying of if the next firmware update will lock it back to AT&T, because the unique International Mobile Equipment Identity (IMEI) is indefinitely registered with Apple as an unlocked device.

Sidenote: I have two Blackberries - an 8700 on AT&T and an 8320 on T-Mobile. I am willing to trade both of them for an iPhone 3G. Both can be easily unlocked with a $25 unlock code from an online company I have personally used. I had a Blackberry 8800 on AT&T and the unlock code I received from this company worked perfectly. Unfortunately, I fried the ROM when I performed a firmware update to the device.

Here are the countries that sell unlocked cell phones by law. This list will be updated regularly. I may even become an importer of iPhones that are unlocked by Apple when they are manufactured. However, such a phone will cost a minimum of $750.

Updated - June 20, 2009


Source - http://support.apple.com/kb/HT1937


Belgium


Czech Republic


Greece


Hong Kong


Italy


Luxembourg


Macau


Malaysia


New Zealand


Russia


Singapore


South Africa


Saudi Arabia


Taiwan


Thailand


United Arab Emirates


Friday, June 19, 2009

New Cars vs. Used Cars

I have been paying attention to the car industry and all of the changes it is going through. In due time, car sales will rebound. A lot of pain will be endured but in the end, everything will work out.

I've been watching all of the Ford commercials and I think they will come out very well when the dust settles. I am not a fan of Ford vehicles. I personally prefer Hondas. But, when I look Ford is offering today, I am inclined to seriously consider and ever recommend their vehicles. I would even buy one. I am really feeling the new Taurus coming out any day now and the Edge Sport has my attention.

However...

If I were buying a car today, I would buy a 2006 BMW 750Li. For the same money as a new, loaded Taurus or Edge Sport, I can have one of the best cars I have ever driven. Virtually all of the 750's have been maintained by the dealer for its first 50,000 miles. And, I could purchase a BMW extended warranty for the next 50,000 miles. It has every feature I could ever want in a car, the BEST SEATS, tons of rear seat space, big trunk, powerful engine, first class safety, 30 mpg on the highway, a great air conditioner and a fantastic audio system. Plus, I like the windshield wipers. Just add an iPod adapter and I'm set.

A quick look on eBay shows several examples of moderate mileage 750's for less than $40,000.

I could get a new Honda Accord EX-L V6 coupe, or for a little more, a real car.

New Career Path

I recently went to Sanford Brown College and I have an idea of what career path I want to pursue.

My immediate goal is to get a job. So far, my first real lead is being a cart pusher for WalMart. A huge step down from my days in 2007, but I am creating a new life for myself, so for the next few years, I'm 18 again.

After securing the cart pusher job, I plan to go to school as a medical assistant. The instruction is 11 months long. I can use the money I make as a cart pusher to market three Internet businesses. There is also a work at home program I can take advantage of.

After securing a job as a Medical Assistant, I will continue my education with Sanford Brown as a Cardiovascular Sonographer. When I complete that program in 20 months, I will have an AS degree. I will then continue on to a BS degree, either in Biology or Chemistry.

The world of Finance is no longer an option for me, so I'm putting all of my talent and energy into the medical field. I love Chemistry and Biology, and the human body has always fascinated me.

My dream medical job is to be a urologist or proctologist (seriously), but I am really cool working in Cardiology at this level. I'll still be able to buy a house and get that 650i convertible.

Apple iPhone

Anyone who knows me knows that I love electronics, especially computers. I especially those electronics that are manufactured by Apple. So, it should be no surprise that I love the iPhone. It is the best mobile telephone I have ever used. And, it is the ONLY phone that perfectly syncs with Apple's Address Book.

I have had mobile telephone service since 1991, they cost $2,000 to install in your car, $50 a month just to keep on and 99¢ a minute for EVERY minute you used it. These $99 monthly unlimited plans are a dream come true.

I remember when text messaging first came out, digital telephone service and the first Motorola StarTAC portable phones (I had one).

I remember when the Palm Treo first came out the first smartphone. It married all the goodness of a Palm PDA with a decent cell phone AND it had a camera phone.

I remember when the Motorola RAZR first came out and how it was THE phone to have.

Today, we have the iPhone. It is THE phone to have. And, I cannot get one.

When the iPhone was introduced in June 2007, I was doing quite well financially. So well, I purchased two 8GB units at $648.42 each, including California sales tax. I gave one of them to my boss because he gave me a Blackberry 8800. The $130 monthly phone bill for the one I used was no problem. I was so confident of my financial ability to maintain my cell service with AT&T that I eventually had five lines with their Family Talk account.

Then I lost my job. And for some reason, my monthly bill never seemed to go down even after I reduced the service level. In fact, it got higher. I finally turned off the service out of frustration.

I received the final closing bill and I was truly shocked at what I officially owed AT&T. I was charged for all of the past due bills I was assured did not exist and I was charged a $275 early termination fee for each of the five numbers I had. I was not a happy camper.

On my path to restoring myself financially, I established a T-Mobile FlexPay account. It gives me equal access to all features and telephones available with a standard post-paid account, with four important distinctions:

~ your credit is not checked;

~ you do not have to sign a contract;

~ you have to pay full price for the telephone (or provide your own);

~ you pay for service first.

With a typical post-paid account, they run your credit, give you a huge discount on a phone and give you credit to use the service.

Using a mobile on a prepaid basis is a dream come true for me. I will never use post-paid accounts again. I use a Blackberry Curve 8320 that was given to me. Right now, the account is suspended because I have no money on the account. And, that is OK because it is a prepaid account. When I add money to the account, I can use the phone.

However, I would prefer to use an iPhone. T-Mobile and AT&T use the GSM standard, so all iPhones are compatible with T-Mobile.

Unfortunately, the iPhone is locked to AT&T.

It is locked to AT&T in such a way that you can ONLY get one by signing a two year contract with them, even if you pay the No Commitment Price.

You are required to activate the iPhone with AT&T with a two year contract even if you pay full price for the phone.

You can't even use the phone on THEIR prepaid service. They do not want people to use the phone on a prepaid basis.

And, the phone cannot be unlocked from AT&T unless you are prepared to risk damage to the device and void the warranty.

None of these problems exist with any other phone AT&T sells. Lets take a Blackberry Bold. I can pay full price for a Bold anywhere AT&T sells it, walk out the store without activating it, buy an unlock code online for $25 and use the Bold freely with T-Mobile.

All I want is for the government to require that ALL cell phones in this country be sold unlocked. The iPhone is sold unlocked in several countries. I should be able to purchase a cell phone at full price and use it with any carrier that can support it with compatible technology. Why is that too much to ask for?

I have no problem with cell phone contracts, subsidized pricing and different technology. Apple chose GSM for its phones. If Apple does not want to create a CDMA version of its phone, Apple should not be required to produce such a phone because they are successful with a GSM phone.

As a consumer, I should not be required to enter into a contract with a company when a better alternative exists for my needs.

So, my solution is to purchase an unlocked phone from a Hong Kong eBay seller.

And, I should not be required to sign a contract for a phone I paid full price for.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Cell Phone Service

It has been four weeks since I have had cell phone service. After 10 years of using cell phones exclusively, I am going through a lot of withdrawal. It is frustrating not being able to send a quick text message, look up some info right quick on the Internet or check my email on the Blackberry. I really miss it.

I have two Blackberries - an 8700c for AT&T and an 8320 for T-Mobile. Both phones are very reliable, but I don't like them because I cannot reliably sync my data with my Mac. I really want another iPhone.

Right now, my Blackberry is a fancy note taker. I can't receive text messages or phone calls with it - I just write new notes and enter new contacts.

I am also frustrated that I am so broke, I have no way of refilling my two prepaid accounts - one with AT&T GoPhone, the other with T-Mobile FlexPay. I will keep both accounts and both phones that use those accounts.

I had a brainiac idea today - I could use the AT&T phone just for text messages. Its $20 a month for unlimited prepaid messages. It isn't much but I can use it as a way to keep in touch with friends who seem to be afraid of using the house phone I have been given permission to use. Eventually, I can refill the T-Mobile acount and use that Blackberry as intended.

My dream is to one day buy an iPhone and use it with my T-Mobile account. When that happens, I will be happier.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

A First

I did something I never thought I would do - I associated my legal name with my sexual orientation to a stranger, in a room of three strangers.

Earlier today, I went to a psychology study that is focusing on HIV education. I was 45 minutes early to the meeting when the person I spoke with on the phone greeted me as I entered the room. I initially gave her my nickname, which she did not recognize. I wanted to expedite her recognition of me, so after a bit of hesitation, I said my legal name. There was a man and a woman in the room. She immediately recognized me, thanked me for showing up early, and took me into her office to start the study.

My legal name is very unique and I'm very private about when it comes to my orientation. But, when I initially responded to the ad for the study, I left a message using my legal name. It was the professional thing to do.

I'm not worried about the woman who conducted the interview with me. I am concerned about the other two in the room when I said my name. The man and woman are Black and they knew why I was in the office - to participate in a study about the sexual habits of men who sleep with men, in particular those who use drugs or alcohol. (For the record, I do not use drugs, drink alcohol or smoke.)

One of the things I have noticed about this town is people don't talk about you - they gossip. I went to the study because I wanted the quick money they are offering, but I feel as if I traded my privacy for $35.

I have always considered myself closeted. However, I'm starting to feel as if the internalized stress of maintaining my privacy is worth it anymore. My mom knows, my sister and her kids know, and my close friends know. On a wider scale, I just prefer not to discuss my orientation openly. However, I am 38, single, and never talk about women. Although I find women very attractive and I would like to actually have sex with a woman, I can't bring myself to use a woman like that when I know I am physically, emotionally and sexually attracted to men. I just tell people who bring up marriage I prefer to be a lifelong bachelor.

A few weeks ago, I created a Facebook page at the behest of my sister who wanted a better way of keeping up with the family. After a few weeks, my entire family on both sides found me online. Everything was going nicely until old high school contacts started to find me on Facebook. It's time for the 20 year reunion. If I am searched, I am a guaranteed hit because of my name. And, because my name is unique, I decided to do the smart thing and post my picture on my Facebook page.

However, things got interesting when my two of my out friends requested to be on my Facebook page. My response was to create an alternate Facebook page for my out friends. And I feel crappy about that. I love my friends, but apparently not enough to include them on my Facebook page as my friends.

I wish I could be one of those people with one email address, one Facebook page, one Twitter page, one domain name. Instead, I have segregated myself. I have my primary identity and my gay identity. Both are my truth.

The way things are going, I predict that I will get my wish. I've already traded my privacy when I started posting this blog with a clear image of my face.

First Hurdle Crossed

am very pleased to report that I have 30 days worth of unlimited bus and train travel on Atlanta's public transit system. On Sunday, I had NO IDEA how I would get the funds, but things came together nicely and I am very pleased.

I spoke to my friend/landlord about my bus situation and he got upset that I didn't advise him sooner. He gave me $20. I later received a phone call from a non-profit organization conducting a study on sexuality. I forgot I left a message for them, but there were persistent, and finally reached me at home. The study pays $35 for the first meeting, $40 for the second meeting and $45 for the third meeting. I attended the first meeting today at 11 AM. An hour later, I filled my Breeze card!

The next step is to find a job. I have 29 days.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Microsoft vs. Apple

I found a work at home opportunity I think would be perfect for me. I visit the website to apply for the position, and, as expected, the company requires that workers use Windows XP, Vista or 7. Since I have an Intel MacBook, I waddle over to Microsoft's website to down the Windows 7 Release Candidate. Its free to use until June, 2001, at which time I will have to purchase a licensed version of the software. By then, I will have a dedicated Windows system strictly for work.

I am so thankful I can work with both operating systems smoothly, but it irks me that Microsoft makes you go through hops to use their software on Macs.

I tried to down the Release Candidate with Safari (my preferred browser), but the page stalled. All night long, I'm reloading the page, only to get a green indicator. Just now, I decided to use Firefox. The registration page loaded without a hitch and I'm downloading the 2.6GB file so I install Microsoft beta software on my Mac in order to get a job. Its bad enough I have to run Windows on my Mac.

Petty issues like this is why people are simply fed up with Microsoft. Instead of trying to work WITH you, Microsoft seems to want to drive you away.

Even though I love Apple, I have a chicken bone to pick with them regarding the iPhone. More on that in a different post.

Unfortunately, Microsoft will end up getting some of my money one way or another. If this work at home program delivers as well as I believe it will, HP or Toshiba will benefit by selling me a computer with Windows 7 installed on it.

YAH! Onward And Upward! YAH!

Well, I sat down and evaluated where I am today, so I can get to where I want to be. Instead of focusing on the war, I'll knock out each battle.

The first battle is securing enough funds for 30 days worth of travel on the bus and train. I have determined that an inability to get on the bus is my biggest problem. Solve that battle, and I'm on the right track. As of today, I have been given $20, and I expect $35 more from a study I am scheduled to participate in tomorrow. YAH!

The next battle is to find a job I know I will stick with for at least one year. It can be a minimum wage job if necessary. Now that my financial obligations have been reduced, I can turn sow to silk. I need to find the job within 30 days.

Once the stream of income is restored, I will establish a prepaid account with T-Mobile.

After that, I need to restore my driver license. That one will take time, which is OK. Not only will more diverse employment opportunities open for me, but I will be able to rent vehicles and join ZipCar. I also love to drive, so a major source of happiness and entertainment will return to my life.

The Crazy Idea Didn't Work!

The Crazy Idea Project failed three days into it. I was just weak. I could have tried harder, but I found a new blog - All Masculine Male - and after the feast on that site, I just decided to dump the Crazy Idea. Now, not having sex has been relatively simple to accomplish. But, not looking at guys online, no masturbation - that was really tough.

The longest I went without jacking off was sixteen weeks, When I was in Army Boot Camp. The new recruits were given a pill called Soft Peter. I can tell you - while in twelve weeks of Basic Training, I had no sexual thoughts whatsoever. I did have one nocturnal emission at the six week mark, which I was prepared for. For one, none of the guys in Boot Camp were attractive or interesting, except Nastasi, who looked like Scott Reeves - the guy who played Ryan McNeil on The Young and the Restless. For another, there was no real privacy. Every movement was tracked, and there were no dividers for the urinals or toilets.

When I got to Advanced Individual Training (AIT), I had practically forgotten about masturbation until two weeks into it when I had my first erection. AIT was a lot more exciting in the eye candy department. My Senior Drill Sergeant reminded me of a muscular Gerald Albright and one of the white Drill Sergeants looked like Bruce Willis with a very muscular body and LOTS of muscle ass trying to break out of those BDU's. Thinking back, both of those guys were genuinely hot to me. I wonder where they are today, 20 years later.

I had privacy in AIT - I shared a room with three other guys, so when they went to Boston for the weekend, I had the room to myself. And so, I rediscovered the joys of masturbation. As I moved up in my AIT studies, I was eventually moved into a two man room, then my own private room.

Then, I flunked out of the MOS I signed up for (33T), so I was transferred to another company for my alternate MOS (98J). THAT was when things got exciting. I met my first friend in the Army, the guy who would become the prototype of the kind I guy I tend to get "bromantic" with.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Response to Lets Talk About Sex

My good friend Thaddeus (http://pimusique.blogspot.com) wrote about sex and I had a long reply. Rather than post my comment on his blog, I put it here.

________________________________________

Sex is such a complicated thing because we are taught that sex is BAD. If it feels good, if it gives pleasure, it must be bad. Why? We are trained to understand that if a thing or act FEELS good or produces, if done in excess, leads to unhappy results. Sex is bundled in there with alcohol, drugs, money and driving fast.

Everything we experience in our body, in our life, begins and ends in the brain. Think about it. At a fundamental level, from reading this blog, to walking, love, sex and death, our life experience is nothing more than the result of atoms interacting in our brains.

I once read that our understanding of right and wrong - of everything - comes from our parents. And, if you don't have parents, it comes from all those around you. My father wasn't around and my mother worked nights, so I sought knowledge in virtually everything I know on my own. And that includes sex. When I had my first erection, I knew what it was. I understood masturbation throughly. When I had my first orgasm, I knew that that was. And when the clear fluid started to turn white, I knew what that was too. So, when I had sex for the first time, the guy I was with was surprised I was a virgin, because I was so good in bed. (I saw hundreds of my stepfather's Swedish Erotica magazine flyers.)

When HIV and AIDS were first publicly identified, I knew more about it then than many people know about it today. (I even remember that episode of the Bionic Woman where the rich guy was in a plastic bubble because his immune system was breaking down.)

Those who were raised in the church know all about Sodom and Gomorrah. It is written that the cities were destroyed because of their wickedness, but the church only focuses on the sex. Sex is wicked. When people think of Sodom and Gomorrah, they ONLY think of sex, specifically homosexuality. They forget about all of the other evils occurring in the city. The Bible says the cities were destroyed for their wickedness, but the church emphasizes that those cities were destroyed because of sex.

We are taught that the ONLY way sex is good is within the boundaries of a single, lifelong, legally recognized commitment between a man and a woman. Anything else is wicked. And when you contrast the life of a happy family - working husband, stay-at-home wife, two well-behaved children, modest 4 bedroom house, a golden retriever and a slightly used hybrid car - against anything else, the result is what we have today - confusion.

And now, HIV just makes things worst. The fluids that bring forth life - blood, vaginal fluid and semen - are now bringers of death. We feel bad about sex.

So today, unless you fit into that married family scenario, if you have ANY sexual thought or reaction, you feel bad about it.

Sex is how ALL 6 billion of us got here. And sex is on all of our minds. And, because the Bible says we were all born into sin, we feel bad not only about sex, but ourselves.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

First Apple, Now Google

For years, I enjoyed Microsoft products. I enjoyed AOL and I enjoyed Yahoo.

But, one day my Windows XP hard drive crashed and I lost all of my data. A 10 year old, $100 iMac G3 recovered just about everything.

I discovered Yahoo email after growing frustrated with constantly losing all of my AOL settings and email each time I had to reformat my Windows 98 and XP setups due to viruses or slow performance.

I thought I would remain with Yahoo forever, until I discovered that GMail offers POP3 and IMAP email access for free. IMAP is a big deal because it is so much better than POP3. Yahoo charges $20 yearly for POP3 only. I used GMail IMAP on my Blackberry, and I was hooked. The defection began.

Today, I love how Apple and Google have made my digital world easy. I compute and backup with a Mac. (OS X, iLife, iWork, Safari, Mail, iTunes)

I desperately want another iPhone. Then, my transformation will be complete. For now, I toil with a Blackberry.

My dream setup is a Mac Pro, 30 inch Cinema Display, 17 inch MacBook Pro, iPhone, iPod touch, Apple TV and Airport Extreme

I email, search, blog and navigate with Google (GMail, Blogger, Maps and Earth). The only thing I do with Yahoo is chat. I gave up AOL years ago and I use Microsoft for practically nothing, since Apple fills all those needs quite nicely.

I am quite happy now and can't wait till I start making real money again.

Getting A Job

I am very frustrated. I have been chronically unemployed since October 15, 2005. That was the day I voluntarily gave up my secure, 15 year career with the City of Los Angeles to pursue a better life for myself.

Between that day and today, I have had three jobs - a mobile computer service position that lasted from May 2006 to July 2006; a job with a real estate investment company that lasted from October 2006 to July 2007; and another real estate investment company that lasted from June 2008 to October 2008. However, my resume is practically worthless because of the long periods of unemployment. Besides, none of my work with the real estate company is verifiable, and it seems I can't take advantage of any of the professional experience I gained from those jobs due to my lack of a degree. The odds seem to be stacked against me, but I haven't given up.

I have found several jobs I would love to do, and in a perfect scenario, I wouldn't be writing this blog. I could get any of those jobs in a heartbeat. But:

~ if the job requires a valid driver license, I'm outta luck. My California driver license was suspended when I failed to appear I court over driving without valid registration. When I pay the $808 fine, my license is restored in 72 hours.

~ if the job requires a degree or certification of any kind, I'm outta luck. I'm a very smart cookie, but I have just one semester of college.

~ if the job is in Doraville or Alpharetta or any other place a considerable distance from College Park, I'm outta luck. Even if I take the 5:15 AM bus, I'll get to work late every day. If the job ends at 11 PM, I'll never get home.

~ if the job is a sales position or involves a typical office setting, I'm outta luck. I love inbound sales or car sales, but I don't have appropriate clothes. All I have is one pair of casual jeans, one pair of "fancy" jeans, a damaged pair of jeans and a damaged pair of dress pants for a custom suit. Everything else was given away in order to drop the weight of my suitcase when I took the bus from Saint Louis to Atlanta.

So, I need a job that is reasonably close to where I currently live, allows me to wear jeans and does not require a valid driver license. Once I get my license, a whole lot of opportunities will open for me. I can work any hours, my main concern is either getting to work on time or being able to get home. I'm thinking graveyard works best for me.

I've also been thinking of giving massages. I used to give them to a couple of muscular friends in LA and they always told me I should get paid for the massage I give. But, I'm out of shape and people that pay for massages seem to like fit guys rubbing them down.

If anyone has ideas for me, I am definitely willing to listen. Thanks!

I Love RSS (Really Simple Syndication)

I am considered the "computer guy" the "tech guy" and the "car guy" to just about everyone who knows me. The only sport I am interested in is football, and I know jack about it. However, I am very passionate about computers, technology, movies, music and cars. Talk to me about those subjects and I'll probably put you to sleep.

In all of my understanding about computers and the Internet, I never figured out RSS. Until today. I figured it out by accident.

I'm a Mac and I enjoy using EVERYTHING by Apple. I currently use Safari 4 Beta on my MacBook Pro. The reload button was relocated next to the RSS button in the address bar. I wanted to reload a page and clicked the blue RSS button instead. A drop down menu asked if I wanted the feed in Atom or RSS. Since I didn't know what Atom was, I chose RSS. Before I knew it, updates to the feeds from the blogs I follow appeared in Mail. I liked that very much, because I had a faster way of knowing when my favorite blogs were updated.

But, opening Mail just to use Safari became a chore, so I adjusted some settings and my RSS updates now show in Safari. I created a dedicated RSS folder, moved it to my Bookmarks Bar with all of my favorite websites, and now, I get a number whenever any of my RSS sites are updated.

I love it!

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Online "Friends"

I consider myself a nice guy. A really nice guy. I go above and beyond to win the Nicest Guy In The World Award because there are too many mean, negative, pessimistic, ugly people in the world. Besides, I really like being nice.

Today, I am ticked off. Over BS.

I recently received a friend request on a social site I belong to. This guy has no pic and no meaningful information about himself on his page. All he wrote to me in his friend request was "Hello, Mr. Pete." Since I'm Mr. Nice Guy, I accepted his friend request and wrote back, "Hello Mr. XXXXX."

I give what is given. I have a few pictures on the site, as well as a few responses to posts other members of the site. He gave me absolutely NOTHING to work with. I accepted his friend request, but when I visit his page, I'm not even listed as a friend of his. So, I withdrew my request to be his friend. I shouldn't have even responded to his friend request in the first place because he made no serious effort to get to know me.

Maybe he liked my picture so much, he thought I would try to make conversation from nothing.

Dudes, if you want to talk to someone - TALK TO THEM. I know rejection is tough to take, but if you can't find something meaningful to write to someone online, save the typing. I do that. Even if it's corny and it likely won't get me anywhere, I write more than "Hi" or "What's up." I know my goals when initially talking with someone. If I know I won't have anything of substance to say to a person online, I just keep my little words to myself and admire them from afar. I'll just look at the pics and spare them a waste of time.

Now, when meeting people while going about my day, that is different. For example, I met one of my very best friends at a supermarket in Beverly Hills two years ago. I was walking to my car and I saw him first. The attraction was instant. The brotha was so incredibly attractive, I was intimidated. I DID NOT want to talk to him. I did everything I could to ignore him. He walked by me as I got in my car and he said, "You know, you look just like my probation officer." In that instant, I processed what he said. On one hand, I thought he was joking. On the other hand, I used to work for the police department and I'm always mistaken for a cop, so I said, "What?" He repeated his statement and asked me if I were so and so. I said no. He introduced himself and his fiancee, then said, "That's a nice car you have. What do you do?" For some reason, I was comfortable with him, so I answered his questions. What started out as my trying to avoid any contact with him has developed into one of my most cherished friendships. He wants me to be his best man because, in his words, "You are the only true friend I have."

I think on that experience whenever I feel the urge to say hey to someone I have vibe for. i will either grow a pair and prepare myself for some harsh rejection if it happens, or I will keep my words to myself. Rejection is a part of life, so I've decided to embrace it and learn from it. Easier said than done, but I believe the more rejection I learn to manage, the happier I will be.

Sometimes, I just want to know how a person's voice sounds. Other times, I really want to know their name. A few times, I might be fishing to find out if the chemistry can be a bit more than superficial. You never know when you will meet your next great friend or that someone special.

Now, I feel better.

Favorite Quotes

I am a big fan of quotes. Things that make you go "Hmm."

My personal quote is:

"Accept the consequences of the truth and you'll never lie."

This one just spontaneously dropped in my brain when I was selling Toyotas in 1998.


Here are a few others:


The problem does not lie with the people hiding in shame.

It lies with the ones that shame them into hiding.



We spend money we haven't earned
To buy things we do not need
To impress people we do not like.

Never expect from someone what you are not willing to give.

Friends are like jewels - time and pressure reveals the true ones.


Be Your Own Best Friend.

There are no shortcuts to anyplace worth going.

Strive to get on top in life, because it's the bottom that's overcrowded.

Nothing beats a failure but a try.

Almost all our unhappiness is the result of comparing ourselves to others.

He who never makes a mistake seldom makes anything else

If you want a thing bad enough
Go out and fight for it
Work day and night for it
Give up your time, peace, and sleep for it
If it is all that you dream and scheme about
And life seems useless and worthless without it
And you'll gladly sweat, fret, and plan for it
And lose all terror of the opposition for it
If you simply go after the thing that you want
With all your capacity, strength and sagacity
Faith, hope, and confidence
And stern pertinacity
If neither cold, poverty, famine, or gull sickness
Or pain of body and brain
Can keep you from the thing you want
If doggeded and grim you beseige and besaid it
With the help of God, you'll get it.

When you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you king for a day
Just go to a mirror and look at yourself
And see what that man has to say.
For it isn't your father, or your mother or mate
Whose judgement upon you must pass
The one whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the one staring back from the glass.
Some people may think you're a straight shootin' chum
And call you a wonderful guy
But the man in the glass knows you're only a bum
If you can't look him straight in the eye.
He's the the one to please, never mind all the rest
For he's with you clear to the end.
And you know you've passed your most dangerous test
If the man in the glass is your friend.
You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years
And get pats on your back as you pass
But your final reward will be heartache and tears
If you've cheated the man in the glass.

My Reply to THE CHANGE

My friend Thaddeus posted THE CHANGE and I wrote a long reply to his post. Instead of posting the message on his comment board, i decided to post my response to my blog.

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I read this post and I could not rest until I responded to it.


I mean no disrespect whatsoever to your friend and the misfortune he has experienced in life thus far, but I am speaking from personal experience - if he doesn't appreciate what he has today and recognize that through it all, he is still standing and he is a conqueror through some bad stuff, he will never have a "happier" life.


I say "happier" because that which made you happy yesterday no longer works today, and that which makes you happy today will not apply in the future. "Happy" is always evolving.


Your friend is mired in a "woe is me attitude." He is so focused on the bad in his life that he doesn't know how to recognize and appreciate the good in his life.


He called you and dumped all of his problems on you because he knew he could. Yes, it is wonderful to have someone you can call in the midnight hour - and he is very blessed to have you in his life - but after all he has been through, he should appreciate he still has the strength to be here to talk about it. Now, he needs to find the strength within himself to want to create the life he truly wants to live.


My first question to him would have been, "What do you want?" It would be asked in a considerate way, to help him actively engage his mind and stop wallowing in self-doubt and pain. And, I would have pressed him for a specific answer, not some nebulous response like "I want to be happy."


After he answered that question, my next one would have been, "Why?"


Things changed for me when I stopped praying for what I didn't have and started being thankful for the blessings I did have.


Your friend is going through a lot of pain and he does not know how to manage it. I read that in all we do, we are constantly pursuing pleasure and avoiding pain. One thing helped me greatly - I changed my thinking and my attitude to one of gratitude. I thanked God for the good things in my life, like having a fully functioning body with arms and legs, the ability to digest food, go to the bathroom on my own, see, hear, touch, smell, get an erection. I actually thanked God for my problems. All of them. They enable me to handle more responsibility. I once complained that my knees hurt because I had to walk everywhere since I don't have a car. Then I saw a homeless man in a wheelchair with both of his legs amputated. All that walking helped me lose 25 pounds I needed to lose. There is ALWAYS something to be thankful for, even in the midst of your lowest moments in life.


If your friend cannot find one thing in his life to be thankful for, he should ask himself "why do I want to live?" Most people will not agree with my logic, but I know this works from personal experience. When I stopped looking for external reasons to live - my mom, my nephew, my friends - and started looking for my INTERNAL reasons to live, things began to improve for me. Today, I know why I want to live, and it isn't for anyone else but MYSELF. He needs to be brutally honest with himself, because if he does not KNOW his reason for living, he will find a reason to end it.


I accepted every personal shortcoming and thanked God for those too, because I now know myself better and I can learn how to live the life I want to live. And before I knew it, those "unanswered" prayers were answered. Some of the answers I did not like, but I thanked God for the answers because once I received the answer to my prayer, I was ready to accept the truth.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Weightlifting Goal

Right now, I am 6'1" and I weigh 210 pounds. I consider myself chubby, out of shape. In clothes, you would never know I'm out of shape, but when they come off, oh no...

My minimum goal is to develop my body similar to that of Race Cooper or Scott Alexander. I would LOVE to be built like Rodney St. Cloud. Oh yeah, if I could develop my body to look like Race's or Scott's, I'd be quite happy with that accomplishment!

A Crazy Idea For June

Well, it is June 1 and I have decided to go on a 30 day fast. I plan to stop masturbating and checking all of the porn sites I normally visit.

I know it is crazy, but for some reason, I felt that a good 30 day break from sexual stimulation would be good for me.

I am also buckling down on what I eat. I lost 25 pounds and I look great. Now, I'm motivated more than ever to improve my appearance further. I was recently given a bike, so I plan to use it to burn still more fat. I rode it and was out of breath before i made it DOWN the hill. I had to walk back home.

I do not have a weight goal - I have a "look" goal. I simply want to see my abdominal muscles. They are starting to peek through, but I'm getting greedy. My ultimate goal is to be as muscular as possible, while always being able to see my abs. Being all muscle at 220 is about right for me. And, I am prepared to make the dietary sacrifices necessary to get tight abs.

Because I have done so well dropping fat, I will focus on working out with weights a bit more. I am taking it very slow because I have failed several times in the past. This time, I am focusing on just ONE simple exercise, something that will improve my muscular conditioning and prepare me for move involved workouts in the future. I do three sets of what I would call slow Olympic lifts. I say slow because I'm not inducing momentum to get a heavy weight onto my shoulders - I am in full control of the weight. I start with a bent-leg deadlift, then reverse curl the bar to my shoulders, execute a military press, and reverse the movements back to the floor. The movement is fully controlled and virtually every muscle in my body is exerted with this one movement. My plan is to slowly increase the weight I can handle for the next 30 days, before I use this movement as a warmup and add more exercises, such as dumbbell presses, squats and such.

Because I am starting to look good, my hope is that I will stick with weight training this time around, improve my muscle tone and lay a good foundation to build on with different exercises.