Six Months Later

Six months ago today, I boarded a bus in Atlanta bound for Los Angeles. On February 5, 2010, I arrived home to an overcast sky. It had just rained and I was surprised at how happy I was to be home. Even though I enjoyed my stays in Saint Louis and Atlanta, things didn't work out as planned in those cities. I was back home, probably for good.

I wanted to wait until today before resuming my blog. I wanted to see how far I progressed since my las entry. I give myself a C+. I could have done a better job with the money I have earned since returned home. Otherwise, I am doing well.

After I got settled into my sister's old room, I took a tour of my mom's house. My bedroom is now her walk-in closet. The kitchen, living room and hallway were completely redone. And, the biggest surprise, mom installed a top-of-the-line air conditioning system in the house, complete with the best thermostat I have ever used. Her plan is to sell the house when she retires and move to Louisiana, her childhood home.

Mom has made it clear that my last day in her house is January 1, 2011. She loves me, but I gotta get it together and get a place of my own. That's no problem because I am doing all I can to get a place of my own as soon as possible. I already have a few spots in mind. Just saving the money to move in.

I went to the Los Angeles Department of Social Services and applied for assistance the day after I got home. A new DPSS building was built just down the street from my mom's house. I was given 12 bus tokens, $220 on a debit card for food and $178 cash to spend however I saw fit.

I didn't remain on the County for long. I found a job in April at a telemarketing company and officially started my new job selling cell phone services (and phones) at a third party vendor for Verizon Wireless on my birthday.

The job pays $10 an hour and it is giving me the resources needed to take me to the next step in my plan to rebuild myself.

I just started a new home based business ad plan to market it in a very big way. Of all the companies I have been involved with, I have NEVER sent information to friends and family. This one is different. The product is fantastic and the pay plan is simply the best ever. I will do well with this company.

My driver license is still not restored. I miss driving so much!! When I finally saved the money to pay the $808 fine, a little voice in my head told me to hire an attorney for assistance before paying the fine. I found a fantastic traffic court attorney online and paid him $500. I am glad I followed the voice, because if I didn't hire the attorney for his expertise and advice, I would have ended up with a misdemeanor conviction on my criminal record, with no way to get rid of it.

February 2008, I was stopped for driving without registration on my car at the time, a 2007 Honda Civic Hybrid. It was a simple $15 fix-it ticket. In addition to the ticket, I had to register the vehicle to clear the ticket. I didn't have the $636 to register my car. I had just enough for the $700 payment. I was living in my car at the time. When the March 2008 court date arrived, I went to court and was granted an extension till July 2008. I missed that court date due to the emotional turmoil of losing everything in storage and the repossession of the car in May 2008. Then, I moved to Saint Louis in June 2008. When I discovered my license was suspended in October 2008, I scheduled another court date over the phone for March 2009. I missed that date due to my move to Atlanta. With two failure-to-appear citations on my driving record, the California court system was unwilling to release the hold on my license until I paid the fine in full AND appeared in court. If I just paid the fine, my license would have been restored, but I would have automatically plead guilty to the charges, and because of the two FTA's, I would have been stuck with a criminal misdemeanor conviction with no way of fixing it. Hiring the attorney was one of the best decisions I have ever made!

I was given three choices:

1. Pay the fine in full today, get my license restored today, but be stuck with a misdemeanor criminal conviction for life.

2. Schedule a court appearance for the first available date. That date is February 11, 2011 At that time, I, my attorney, or both of us, appear in court to argue the case. The misdemeanor never happens, my license is restored and I have a good chance of paying a reduced fine.

3. I pay the full $808 as soon as possible and demand a speedy trial as required by the law within 45 days after paying the fine. If the court cannot grant me a speedy trial, the state forfeits the case, returns my money and releases my driver license with a clean criminal record.

My attorney filed for the court date on February 11, 2011, and advised me to pay the fine as soon as possible so option 3 could be explored. The $500 is a flat fee, so he will represent me and pay the fines on my behalf. I won't have to show up in court at all.

When I get my license and a car, I will post those here. Meanwhile, because my new business is home based, I will not need a vehicle for some time. I am comfortable waiting till February 2011 if necessary to resolve the driver license issue.

I am making a lot of progress restoring myself. It feels good going to a job making money every two weeks. It feels good putting my business plans in motion. The pay I receive is enough to properly market my online ads for my business. Once I have earned a good amount of money from this venture (I will) I will write about it. For now, I have learned not to tell friends, family or coworkers about it. I am looking strictly for success-motivated individuals who "get it" like I did and just sign up and do the work needed to be successful with this business.

One bad thing has happened to me - I gained 20 pounds since returning home.

I am single. I decided to stay that way till I have something more than nice conversation to offer someone. I'm broke, out of shape, traveling by bus, living at home, with a low paying job. Not the best way to offer someone the incentive to want to get to know me.

One thing I do know - I won't be this way much longer...

Right Back Where I Started From

Atlanta - March 21, 2009 to February 3, 2010 - A very nice, yet heartbreaking visit. I am glad to have experienced Atlanta and I am saddened that the dream never happened for me there.

The song goes:

California Here I Come ... Right Back Where I Started From

I started this blog the day I arrived in Atlanta to document my rise from the ashes. I was determined to make it. After ten months of living on a runway of faith, just as my hopes of an Atlanta comeback began to take flight, I had to make the difficult but necessary move back home to the start of this mess - Los Angeles, California.

I can look back and say that I tried everything I could to land on my feet in Atlanta. In the end, it just wasn't meant to be. The fact that I couldn't get a Georgia ID card should have told me something. Moving back home was not an easy decision. Several events convinced me that trying to build a life in Atlanta was not the plan for me - I belonged in Los Angeles.

November 1, 2009 - I decided on that day that if I did not get a job by January 1, 2010, I would return home.

November 30, 2009 - I began Certified Nursing Assistant training

December 16, 2009 - Paying the final tuition payment for school was a challenge. I had no money. My friend who was helping me since I moved to Atlanta informed me that if I was not able to pay for school, he would no longer help me and he would send me home on January 1, 2010.

December 17, 2009 - A good friend agrees to loan me the money for school. The school does not kick me out and I can continue with CPR training and nursing home clinical training the following week.

December 21 - 22, 2009 - I complete CNA clinical training. I am given five strong referrals for possible employment.

December 25, 2010 - While riding in a car on the north I-285 west to I-85 south overpass, I realize that I have no connection to Atlanta while looking at the city skyline.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009 - I complete CNA training with a final score of 94%. That same day, I travel to Decatur to apply for a position with Georgia Regional Hospital. I decide to extend my deadline to February 1, 2010. My friend agrees to give me the additional time.

Monday, January 18, 2010 - With February 1st fast approaching, I begin to sense pressure to find a job. I receive a surprise phone call - an interview request with Georgia Regional Hospital.

Monday, January 25, 2010 - I perform very well on the interview. I am practically offered the job, pending successful results from my background and reference checks. I am told that the references will be called immediately after the interview so I can start on February 1.

Friday, January 29, 2010 - My references did not receive a call from the hospital. I call the hospital, only to get disconnected from the call, then voicemail when I call back to ask if I am still being considered for the job.

Monday, February 1, 2010 - After enduring much frustration, receiving no word from the hospital regarding the possibility of being hired, being advised by my friend that they were likely not interested in hiring me because the references were not called in the time I was told they would be contacted and the growing discomfort of asking my friend for still more help after 10 months of unemployment, I made the decision to return home.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010 - My friend purchased a Greyhound bus ticket for me.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010 - At 5:30AM, I rolled out of Atlanta on a Greyhound bus for the long journey back home. Later in the day, my friend sent a text message advising that Georgia Regional Hospital called for a reference check - I was strongly considered for the position. Seems they ran my background first, then decided to contact my references.

February 5, 2010 - At 8:00AM, I stepped off the bus to rain in Los Angeles, CA. It feels good being back home. For the time being, I am staying with my mom.

I am confident that I will be successful in restarting my life now that my monthly income requirement is less than $700, compared to $3,000 when I left in 2008.

My goals are the same as they were when I arrived in Atlanta - secure money for a monthly bus pass ($62) prepaid cell phone ($60) and rent ($300). Once I get a job, I can then worry about getting a place of my own and a vehicle. And then comes the bigger task - repaying all those who have helped me.

I have a lot of work to do.

I once read that when you lose a person's respect, you lose everything. In the end, I destroyed a friendship I desperately need. I am a nice guy, but I FUCKED UP big time, and I'm man enough to admit it. During my darkest hour, he was there for me and I took him for granted. He helped me and asked for very little in return. I wish I were one of those people who can say when they are old that they have no regrets in life. I have too many of them. There are tons of things I would do differently. And sadly, many of the regrets I have won't be forgiven with an "I'm sorry," a handshake, hug, kiss, nice email or money. Some losses are painful events that become permanent scars even if the friendship is restored. I am forever changed and will regret the loss of my friend's love and respect for the rest of my life.

As for my blog, I plan to continue working on it. The ride continues on a different roller coaster now.

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Thoughts About Laws In General and Same-Sex Marriage

The other day, I had a profound thought: laws are supposed to benefit, protect and penalize all citizens equally.

I've never attended law school or discussed my opinion with someone who has a law background, but this seems like reasonable sense to me. It is unfortunate that all of our laws are not applied fairly.

When I look at the issue of same-sex marriage, it is clear that the entire situation is unfair when four basic questions are asked. In fact, these four questions can be applied to any law.

1. Who benefits if a resolution becomes law?
1a. How?
1b. Why?

2. Who does not benefit if a resolution becomes law?
2a. How?
2b. Why?

3. Who benefits if a resolution does not become law?
3a. How?
3b. Why?

4. Who does not benefit if a resolution does not become law?
4a. How?
4b. Why?

Written another way:

If same-sex marriage is legal in this country, who benefits?

If same-sex marriage is legal in this country, who does not benefit?

If same-sex marriage is not legal in this country, who benefits?

If same-sex marriage is not legal in this country, who does not benefit?

To understand the importance of these questions, remove "same-sex" from each of the questions and ask them again. Throw in some other long-time favorites, like pornography, bearing of arms, etc.

During all the argument surrounding same-sex marriage in this country, I noticed that no one has ever asked those four questions.

Last time I checked, God gives all of us free will - if you believe God exists. It's the laws of man that restrict us.

I believe that if a person wants to marry, they should have the free will to marry whomever is willing to enter in such an agreement with them. Let that couple deal with the spiritual, psychological and social consequences in their own way, without religious influence.

I should not have the right to go to a ballot box and essentially order an atheist or agnostic couple that they cannot marry because they do not believe in God.

No one should be able to vote on a constitutional amendment that penalizes me for choosing to remain single.

Proposition 8 and all of these "marriage laws" deprive a specific group of people of their right to choose who they wish to marry, in order to satisfy the spiritual needs of religious people.

I would be interested in reading a well-reasoned viewpoint where no references to the Bible or reproduction are mentioned.

I find it amazing that the church casts you out and calls you everything but a child of God when you don't follow the rules, and then still wants to run your life when it comes to the establishment of laws that should benefit all of us equally. I respect the rights of the church and its members. The church should respect the rights of those who do not want to belong to the church. I really hope that whoever decides this truly believes in the separation of church and state.

2007 - 2009 - A Recap

Some of you might be wondering why I had a tough time fixing the situation I was in regarding obtaining employment. Here is a quick recap:

October 13, 2005 - I voluntarily left a secure, 15-year career with the City of Los Angeles. I wanted to be happy and after six years of thinking about it, I felt that the only way to have a happier life was to take the biggest risk of my life and quit my job in order to earn more than the $50,000/yr (before taxes) I was already earning. Had I never left my job, I would have never learned what I now know which will help me achieve that goal. However, that knowledge came at a very high price. I lost everything I worked for during the last 20 years of my life, including the irreplaceable stuff like my Army uniform. By leaving my job, I no longer qualified for unemployment compensation in any state. The company I worked for from September 2006 - July 2007 did not pay unemployment taxes. I was a 1099 worker.

February 2008 - I was ticketed for driving with expired registration. If I registered the car by the court date, the fine would only been $15. If I no longer owned the vehicle by the court date, the full fine of $700 would have to be paid. In order to register the vehicle, I needed nearly $700. My car payment was nearly $700 and it was two months past due. And I was living in the car at the time. I had three choices - register the car, only to have it repossessed; pay the payment, only to risk more tickets and impound; give up the car only be on the streets and still be forced to pay the full fine of $700. When I was blessed with the house in Lancaster, I made the car payment, hoping I would land a job in Lancaster to keep the house and car. The car was repossessed on May 16, 2008 and the fine for the ticket jumped to $808 when I didn't show up for court. My driver license was suspended. When I pay the $808, my driving records will be released in 72 hours and I can get a Georgia ID card or driver license.

June 12, 2008 - I moved to Saint Louis, MO where I worked for a financial services company that went out of business October 15, 2008. I received one check from the company three weeks before they went out of business.

March 21, 2009 - Instead of moving back to Los Angeles, I moved to Atlanta to try something different. From there, obtaining work has been nearly impossible due to my resume filled with landmines. Even though I have 15 years with the city of LA, I have too many periods of unemployment after that. I have no formal education beyond high school, no valid driver license and no references beyond my days with the City of Los Angeles.

My hope is that my new career as a medical professional - beginning as a Certified Nursing Assistant - fixes all of those problems in short order and puts be on the part of regaining my independence.

After getting a job, my next goal is to restore my driver license.

A Man With Real Problems

Before I wrote my previous blog entry, I came across this AP article on Yahoo News.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_immigration_the_back_door

It speaks of a 31-year-old man from Somalia who left his wife and 4-year-old child behind to seek asylum in this country to save his life. It speaks of his journey through several foreign countries and the considerable risks he took to get here.

I think of how his life must have been like without a predictable source of clean drinking water, edible food, clean clothes, a shower, a toilet. I read that his experience occurred around the same time I went through mine.

In the end, he was granted asylum in Lancaster, CA - ironically the same place where my journey started. But, I realize that my journey was a luxury compared to what he went through.

After his asylum hearing, he was released from custody and transported to a train station with $5 in his pocket. The guards told him "Welcome to America" and went back to work.

Whenever I meet people, before I "judge" them or get angry if they reject or criticize me, I always keep in mind that I do not what pain they went through to be who they are today. Whenever I think of how hard my experience was, I will read this man's story again and remember that everything I lost can be replaced and the hardships I experienced were inconvenient lessons I had to learn.

Happy 2010

Between November 30 and December 29, 2009, I was in training to become a Certified Nursing Assistant. So many other things have failed for me between August 2007 and today that I didn't want to mention any of this until I earned the certificate. On December 30, 2009, I accomplished that goal with a final score of 93. The top student scored 94. Beginning on Monday, January 4, 2010, when all the festivities and vacation is washed out of the country and we all go back to work, I will be seeking employment with the one nursing home willing to hire me fresh out of school. I have one year after completing my classroom instruction to test for state certification. Once I am state certified, I can increase my pay and work in hospitals.

I have always wanted to be in the medical field, but I was under the impression that you had to have a two year degree for even the most basic of jobs. I remember what my sister went through to become a dental assistant. Given my circumstances, I would not have survived two years of struggle without a reliable income.

Completing CNA training was a miracle from start to finish. I was riding with a friend on Old National Highway who needed help locating the post office on Godby Road. On this day, the car I was riding in lined up with a sign I never saw before - "Free Training For Those Who Qualify." It was posted in front of a building I always passed but never paid attention to each time I rode the bus to the train station. Since I already knew I didn't qualify for the free training (I don't qualify for any government programs) I took down their number anyway, just to ask questions. While my friend was in the post office, I called the school and they proceeded to tell me about Certified Nursing Assistants, how in demand the jobs are, how men are strongly in demand for the position, and that they had just two seats remaining in a class that just started. Tuition was $600 and I could start the 5 week class immediately if I had $250 to start.

I just cleared an overdraft in my checking account and had ZERO dollars available, but I had to be in that class. I went to the school the next day to tour the facility and ask more questions. When I met the students in the class, something just clicked with me, the instructor and the other students. The energy just felt right, so I filled out the paperwork with half a mustard seed of faith and the school accepted me with $50. That triggered a $34 overdraft fee.

I then needed $60 for the next installment in order to get my book and bus fare. My friend helped me by giving me back the CLEAR commission I paid him.

My good friend Thaddeus needed a reformat and restoration of his Dell laptop. Even though I did the work for free, he paid me for the work. I was able to get my first set of scrubs.

My friend at the house gave me $20 because his spirit moved him to do so. I purchased a stethoscope and blood pressure cuff at Walgreens for $18.18.

Even though the school is 5 miles from where I live, making the trip in this cold weather was not easy. A few times, I had to make the 30-minute walk to the bus stop. When I rode my bike, the time was reduced to 10 minutes, but my hands and face paid the price every time.

But, the big miracle happened when I needed to pay for final $490 due on December 17. That payment was critical because without it, I would be unable to get CPR training or complete the 16 hours of clinical experience in a nursing home. The last three weeks would have been a waste. And, my friend told me that if I was unable to make the $490 payment, he wouldn't be able to help me and offered to buy me a bus ticket back to Los Angeles. Nearly every day leading up to the 17th, the enrollment counselor nagged me about the payment. The main plan I had in place to earn the money failed. I hatched a plan to service computers for just $20 a pop, no matter what the problem, so I could pay for school. Other than Thaddeus, no one took me up on the offer. I asked each of my Facebook friends to consider sending me just $20. Only one person responded and he told me how lame it was for me to send a message through Facebook asking for help. All of my friends and family were unwilling or unable to help me. Seems I asked one time too many for help.

On the day the payment was due, the administrator of the school gave me one more day to come up with the funds to pay the tuition. Otherwise, I would be dropped from the program. A good friend who was visiting family in North Carolina called and told me he would pay the $490 on my behalf.

Now that all of my lifelines have been used and Plan Z seems to be working, I need one last miracle - a job with that one nursing home or organization within reasonable distance by bus that is willing to hire a new CNA who doesn't have a GA driver license or a car. Georgia will not issue me an ID card or driver license until I pay a fine associated with my expired California driver license. I have a valid Missouri ID card, a Social Security Card and birth certificate. I worked for 15 years with LAPD, so my identity is very easy to verify. Other than having the worst possible credit, I will pass any background check and drug test. I know that facility is out there. I just need to find them.

Happy New Year, indeed!