Atlanta - March 21, 2009 to February 3, 2010 - A very nice, yet heartbreaking visit. I am glad to have experienced Atlanta and I am saddened that the dream never happened for me there.
The song goes:
California Here I Come ... Right Back Where I Started From
I started this blog the day I arrived in Atlanta to document my rise from the ashes. I was determined to make it. After ten months of living on a runway of faith, just as my hopes of an Atlanta comeback began to take flight, I had to make the difficult but necessary move back home to the start of this mess - Los Angeles, California.
I can look back and say that I tried everything I could to land on my feet in Atlanta. In the end, it just wasn't meant to be. The fact that I couldn't get a Georgia ID card should have told me something. Moving back home was not an easy decision. Several events convinced me that trying to build a life in Atlanta was not the plan for me - I belonged in Los Angeles.
November 1, 2009 - I decided on that day that if I did not get a job by January 1, 2010, I would return home.
November 30, 2009 - I began Certified Nursing Assistant training
December 16, 2009 - Paying the final tuition payment for school was a challenge. I had no money. My friend who was helping me since I moved to Atlanta informed me that if I was not able to pay for school, he would no longer help me and he would send me home on January 1, 2010.
December 17, 2009 - A good friend agrees to loan me the money for school. The school does not kick me out and I can continue with CPR training and nursing home clinical training the following week.
December 21 - 22, 2009 - I complete CNA clinical training. I am given five strong referrals for possible employment.
December 25, 2010 - While riding in a car on the north I-285 west to I-85 south overpass, I realize that I have no connection to Atlanta while looking at the city skyline.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009 - I complete CNA training with a final score of 94%. That same day, I travel to Decatur to apply for a position with Georgia Regional Hospital. I decide to extend my deadline to February 1, 2010. My friend agrees to give me the additional time.
Monday, January 18, 2010 - With February 1st fast approaching, I begin to sense pressure to find a job. I receive a surprise phone call - an interview request with Georgia Regional Hospital.
Monday, January 25, 2010 - I perform very well on the interview. I am practically offered the job, pending successful results from my background and reference checks. I am told that the references will be called immediately after the interview so I can start on February 1.
Friday, January 29, 2010 - My references did not receive a call from the hospital. I call the hospital, only to get disconnected from the call, then voicemail when I call back to ask if I am still being considered for the job.
Monday, February 1, 2010 - After enduring much frustration, receiving no word from the hospital regarding the possibility of being hired, being advised by my friend that they were likely not interested in hiring me because the references were not called in the time I was told they would be contacted and the growing discomfort of asking my friend for still more help after 10 months of unemployment, I made the decision to return home.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010 - My friend purchased a Greyhound bus ticket for me.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010 - At 5:30AM, I rolled out of Atlanta on a Greyhound bus for the long journey back home. Later in the day, my friend sent a text message advising that Georgia Regional Hospital called for a reference check - I was strongly considered for the position. Seems they ran my background first, then decided to contact my references.
February 5, 2010 - At 8:00AM, I stepped off the bus to rain in Los Angeles, CA. It feels good being back home. For the time being, I am staying with my mom.
I am confident that I will be successful in restarting my life now that my monthly income requirement is less than $700, compared to $3,000 when I left in 2008.
My goals are the same as they were when I arrived in Atlanta - secure money for a monthly bus pass ($62) prepaid cell phone ($60) and rent ($300). Once I get a job, I can then worry about getting a place of my own and a vehicle. And then comes the bigger task - repaying all those who have helped me.
I have a lot of work to do.
I once read that when you lose a person's respect, you lose everything. In the end, I destroyed a friendship I desperately need. I am a nice guy, but I FUCKED UP big time, and I'm man enough to admit it. During my darkest hour, he was there for me and I took him for granted. He helped me and asked for very little in return. I wish I were one of those people who can say when they are old that they have no regrets in life. I have too many of them. There are tons of things I would do differently. And sadly, many of the regrets I have won't be forgiven with an "I'm sorry," a handshake, hug, kiss, nice email or money. Some losses are painful events that become permanent scars even if the friendship is restored. I am forever changed and will regret the loss of my friend's love and respect for the rest of my life.
As for my blog, I plan to continue working on it. The ride continues on a different roller coaster now.